Showing posts with label Funny Words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Words. Show all posts

1980s and 2011

Zamana badal gaya pyarai purani bhaat nahi hoti



Google fun


Hi Friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Google fun.... :)

  

GOOGLE FUN

Try this !

It's really cool...

1. Go to Google

2. Click images

3. Type 'flowers' or any other word.

4. You will get a page which is having full of images

5. Then delete the URL from the address bar and paste the
below script:

javascript:R= 0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i<DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position= 'absolute' ; DIS.left=Math. sin(R*x1+ i*x2+x3)* x4+x5; DIS.top=Math. cos(R*y1+ i*y2+y3)* y4+y5}R++ }setInterval( 'A()',5); void(0)

 



 


THE JOURNEY is still continue....

THE JOURNEY OF ALL OF US…….JUST IMAGINE THE SITUATIONS……U WILL FEEL SOMEWHERE ELSE…..

when

The school reopened in June,

And we settled in our new desks and

benches!


When
we queued up in book depot,

And got our new books

and notes!



When
we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet

managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

We learnt writing with

slates and pencils, and

Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!


When
we began drawing with crayons and evolved to

Color pencils and finally sketch pens!



When
we started calculating

first with tables and then with


Clarke's tables and advanced to

Calculators and computers!


When
we chased one another in the

corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms

Drenched in sweat!


When
we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,

Playgrounds,

under the trees and even in cycle sheds!


When
all the colors in the world,

Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!


When
a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,

Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!



When
cricket was played with writing pads as bats,

And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!


When
few played

'kabadi' and 'Kho-Kho' in scorching sun,

While others simply played

'book cricket' in the

Confines of classroom!


Of fights but no conspiracies,


Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!



When
we used to

watch Live Cricket telecast,

In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!



When
few rushed at 3:45 to

'Conquer' window seats in our School bus!

While
few others had 'Big Fun', 'peppermint' ,

'kulfi', ' milk ice !' and 'sharbat !' at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days


Of Sports Day,

and the annual School Day ,

And the one-month long

preparations for them.


Gone are the days


Of the stressful Quarterly,

Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most

enjoyed holidays after them!



Gone are the days


Of tenth and twelfth standards, when

We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learnt,

We enjoyed,

We played,

We won,

We lost,

We laughed,

We cried,

We fought,

We thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience, all this and more!


Gone are the days


When we used

to talk for hours with our friends!

Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!


Gone are the days


When we played games on the road!

Now we
plan on the road with laptop!


Gone are the days


When we saw stars
Shining at Night!

Now we see stars when our plan doesn't work !


Gone are the days


When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!

Now we chat in chat rooms......!


Gone are the days


Where we studied just to pass!


Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days


Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!

Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days


Where we shouted on the road!

Now we don't shout even at home

Gone are the days


Where we got lectures from all!

Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!

Gone are the days


But not the memories, which will be


Lingering in my heart for ever and ever and

Ever and ever and ever .....



Gone are the Days.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!


NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,

DONT FORGET TO

LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL

EXISTS...... ...

Very true thing about girls

1)
When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
2)
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
3)
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions .... she is wondering how
long you will be around.
4)
When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all
fine.
5)
When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.
6)
When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
7)
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
8)
When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.
9)
When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' .... no one in this world can miss you more than
that.
10)
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....
11)
Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
12)
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
13)
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses
your forehead.
14)
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
15)
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
16)
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he
is to have you.
17)
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

Speeding Indian! Just for Laugh

Speeding Indian!



Ramankutty Nair, a middle aged Indian immigrant in Dallas, Texas bought a brand new convertible Porsche.


He took off down the road and pushed it up to 160 MPH and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.

"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But when he eventually looked in his rear-view mirror there was a Ford Crown Victoria Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing.

"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 mph to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, 'What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing.' and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

The Policeman pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up on the driver's side.

"Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Wednesday 22 November a day before Thanksgiving, "If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before as to why you were speeding, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, "Last week my wife ran off with an American Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back.."

The Policeman said, "Have a nice day, sir!"
=========================================================

Cricket and Agriculture Funny Picture

How to burn a Ciggarate........? - Very Funny

You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

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Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER..... ...using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

another deadly answer. Scroll down a little

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Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.
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Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
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If that was not enough even uptill now, one more deadly answer.... scroll down

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Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"

.
.
.

Kyun hain naaa deadly.....

Why A Student Fails? ... Funny Joke :D

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263..

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.
Days left 141..

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.

Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.


Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !

Days left 81.

7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.

Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days.

Remaining days 3.

10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days.

1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"
Balance days 0

"How can a student PASS???

Polite Way to Pee... Funny Joke

The Polite Way to Pee!


During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
Johnny said …..

'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
The teacher fainted...

Coolest doubt in Mahabharata... good one

Coolest doubt in Mahabharata
In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharata
Story to class 6 students.
He is at the 'Krishna janma' part of it.
Masterji: "Kansa heard the Aakaashwani that his sister's 8th child is
going to kill him.
He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars.
First Son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...
Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak.
Third one is born ......
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand.
"Masterji, I have a doubt" (sounding nervous n confused)
Masterji: "Ramu beta, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata
Then how come u have one?"
Ramu: "Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him,
WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL? "
Masterji fainted..... ......... ........... ... sochana padega

:):)

Definitely check this one :D Funny Words

u r Ultimate
u r Lovely
u r Likeable
u r Unique
In short... u r ULLU !!!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I am getting married next week.
There will be small party
and only a few people will be invited.
Don't brings any gifts.
just brings SOMEONE to marry me.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Galileo : Great Mind
Einstein : Genius Mind
Newton : Extraordinary Mind
Bill Gates : Brilliant Mind
ME : Master Mind
YOU : Never Mind

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Good Person : Its YOU
Good Friend : Its YOU again
Good Heart : That's YOU !
Good Will : Its also YOU !
Good Looking Ahh....
hold it. Its 2 much 4 u..... Now its ME

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I wanted 2 kill the SWEETEST, SMARTEST
& the most beautiful person on the earth,
but then I thought.........
SUICIDE is a crime.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I Look at the moon,
the moon is beautiful...
I look at you... I... I...I'd rather
look at the moon again...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

CHI CHANG CHEN
LAINGHUANG THEIN
CHI KWA SIAU-CIE
WOHEN HAU NI THAZ
THAZ HAO OEI SIEN-SHENG
Popat ! Agar samj nahi aa raha ho
to padh kyon rahe ho....?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Why do we drink water ?
Because we cannot eat it.

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Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio
with a sports car around it.

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Zindagi mein teen chijen kabhi bhi aa sakti hain....
1) PAISA,
2) MAUT
AUR ......
.......AUR
3) MERA MAIL

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
kuch nahi bas tumhari shakal yaad aagayi
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Cool Answers ....!! Very Funny Read the Whole Answer

Gita Updesh for Technical Guys ... Good Funny one :D

HEY PARTH ....

Increment nahin mila, bura hua

Salary cut ho rahi hai, bura ho raha hai

Retrenchment hoga, wo bhi bura hi hoga...

Tum pichhla review na hone ka paschataap na karo

Tum agle review na hone ki chinta na karo

Recession chal raha hai...

Tumhari pocket se kya gaya jo tum rote ho ?

Tum company ke liye kya business laye the jo tumne kho diya ?

Tumne aisa kaun sa product banaya tha jo scrap hogaya ?

Tum koi experience le kar nahin aaye the...

Jo experience liya company se liya...

Jo project kiya company ko diya...

Degree le kar aaye, experience lekar chale...

Jo function aaj tumhara hai,

Kal kisi aur ka tha... parson kisi aur ka hoga...

Tum ise apna samajh kar magn ho rahe ho

Bas yahi khushi tumhari tension ka kaaran hai...

Kyon wyarth tension lete ho, kis se wyarth darte ho


Kaun tumhein nikaal sakta hai ?

Policy change company ka rule hai

Jise tum policy change kehte ho, wahi to trick hai...

Ek pal mein tum millionaire ho jaate ho

Doosre hi pal mein tum stipend par aa jate ho...

Review, increment etc. etc. man se hata do

Vichar se mita do phir company tumhari hai, tum company ke ho...

Na yeh increments tumhare liye hain, na tum iske kabil ho

Parantu job secure hai, phir tumhein tension kyon hai

Tum apne aap ko Company ko arpit karo

Yahin sabse bada Golden Rule hai...

Jo is Golden Rule ko janta hai

Wo review, incentive, recession se sarvada muqt hai.

Guys will love this! :) 3rd Set of Funny Jokes

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... - Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

- Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

- Anonymous

Guys will love this! - 2nd Set of Funny Words/Jokes

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' - Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' - Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' - James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Patrick Murra